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Soul Train


For many years I had frequent dreams about trains. In fact, they were more like nightmares. I would often dream of catching the wrong train and going in the wrong direction, or missing the train and watching it pull out of the station, or I would be standing on the wrong platform and see my train on a different platform. Often I would be trying to get through the ticket barrier with no success while watching the train disappear. If I ever had a dream that I was actually on the train, I would often be on it without a ticket, or without a seat, or facing backwards and feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere.

These dreams were obviously showing me something and were communicating a powerful message. I had them consistently in the years leading up to 2007, which is when I came across the teachings and presentations of Universal Medicine. In the years prior to 2007, I was doing a great deal of searching. From the year 2000 I could feel that something was wrong and amiss. In those seven years I dropped a great deal of things that I used to participate in, and I embarked on what I thought was an inner journey. This took me into a plethora of new age and psychotherapeutic practices that I thought were the answer.

However, my life remained the same and the train dreams continued. They were telling me clearly that I was not getting anywhere and that I was on the wrong track.

However, everything started to change when, through Universal Medicine, I learned the Gentle Breath Meditation™ and discovered how to connect to the true me, my innermost essence, my Soul. I could feel that I had come home – not home to Universal Medicine, but home to myself. I began to make changes to the way that I lived, using my new understanding to connect to myself before moving, speaking and making decisions.

It started to become obvious that I had not been living the true me, and that at last I was beginning to find out who that was. The joy that came with this was incredible. Soon after the joy, came all of the old stuff that I then had to clear – anything that was not from the true me. Anything that I had taken on from the outside, such as ideals, practices, beliefs, plans, ideas, projects, and emotional baggage. It all had to surface in order for me to clear it and then discard it. What I understood was that I had embarked on a journey back to my Soul. It wasn’t necessary to search anywhere anymore but just re-connect to my inner heart and the healing would occur.

Around this time, my dreams began to change. In my dreams, suddenly I was on the right train! Going in the right direction! With a ticket! And with a seat! It was so obvious to me that I was now on the right track in my life.

My train dreams are not so frequent now, but have continued to guide me over the last 10 years. If I start walking away from my Soul, I have a dream that I’m on the wrong train. If I ignore this warning, these dreams stop altogether. Once I come back to what I know and listen to my inner wisdom and act on it, I have a dream that I am on the right train again. It really is remarkable.

For the last few months I have noticed a lack of meaningful dreams. No train dreams at all and no dreams that seemed to have any messages of confirmation or warning. It felt like I was coasting.

Last night though, I had a train dream. I was waiting for the train. There was some anxiousness about if it would actually arrive, and if it would take me where I needed to go to get home. The third train that arrived was my train. Myself and the other passengers on the platform tried to get into the train, but the doors were locked. The train continued to sit in the station with locked doors. It was obvious that the female guard was keeping them locked intentionally. We all pondered on what to do. Someone said that sometimes the guard didn’t let people on the train at all. I had no doubt that I would eventually get on the train; it was just a matter of how and when.

We then realised simultaneously that before we were to be allowed on the train, we had an opportunity to deeply thank and appreciate the train and its operators. We felt we had to acknowledge the value of the train and the fact that we could board it and it would take us home.

What a message from this dream! What I realised when I woke up was that I had not been appreciating all that I have been given, and that I was not on track unless I did this. I had been reminded of the power of appreciation, and how I cannot grow or evolve without this. It was a confirmation that I had been coasting and it was time to get back on track!

In the dream, after we had all got the message and felt appreciation for the guard and the train, the doors were opened and we all got on board. In the dream, I logged on to the Internet and posted a blog that all passengers on the train would be able to read…. So here it is!

The message of this blog is the importance and power of appreciation. Appreciation for everything I have been given, appreciation for myself for waking up and recognising the truth, and appreciation for my Soul for delivering dreams that keep me on the right track.

So, I can’t end this blog without expressing my deepest love, appreciation and gratitude to Serge Benhayon, his family and everyone associated with Universal Medicine. Without them I would still be searching in the wrong direction. The tireless and endless love that is lived, displayed, walked, given and expressed is phenomenal. The teachings of the Ageless Wisdom are delivered and presented with so much integrity, and not one ounce of trying to convince or receive recognition. The truth is presented. We can take it or leave it.

I’m choosing to take it, and I’m choosing to take the Soul train!

A Healing Journey through Music: playing the cello and RSI

I grew up in a family of performers. Music was around me every day and was a natural part of life.

I began playing the cello when I was 6 years old and was supported with this by my family throughout my childhood and teenage years. It was a hobby that was taken seriously, therefore I was required to commit to daily practice, and it brought me lots of fun in the way of being involved in orchestras with my friends.

On entering music college at the age of 19 the cello then became a prospective career, and although I still loved to play my instrument, my musical life changed dramatically. Suddenly it was full of pressure – to get it right and to perform well. My training was in how to perfect pieces of music and deliver them in a way that impressed and moved people. I embraced this and spent hours in practice rooms perfecting my playing, and when performing would pour my emotions into the music and move people to tears.

After my initial years of college I then travelled to America to study further at a Conservatory of Music. The pressure increased tenfold, the focus became more about the technique than the feeling of the music, and my enjoyment of playing started to dwindle.

I started to feel like a robot, just churning out music with no feeling and no soul. My body became really hard and tense, my frustration and anxiety increased, and my days became a struggle instead of a joy.

I channelled all my pent-up emotion back into my cello and my music, and my body became even harder and even more tense. I was playing for around 8 hours a day with this tension in my body and was persisting with a drive to achieve. The joy I had once experienced playing the cello was replaced by an empty feeling coupled with misery and physical pain. I was playing in this state and just kept going, putting my body under more and more strain.

Eventually my body gave up. I developed a severe case of Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) in my right arm and had to stop playing. This was not unusual within the music world among string players – so much so that there were classes provided at the Conservatory of Music to help people recover from it. It didn’t make sense to me how it was widely accepted as a problem, yet there were no guidelines as to how to prevent it.

I now know that developing the RSI was a blessing for me, as my body was just showing me that it needed to stop and heal, but at the time it was devastating.

Devastation turned to depression and years of not being able to play. My arm was wrecked, my identity as a cellist gone and my dreams were shattered. I started again without the cello and re-invented my life. I sold my beloved instrument after years of it sitting gathering dust, and I left my musical years behind.

I embarked on a healing journey with my body to heal my arm, and after a long while of searching for the healing modality that felt right to me I began attending Sacred Esoteric Healing workshops with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in 2007. With the awareness I gained from these workshops and help from Esoteric Healing practitioners, I began to make changes in my life, taking more care in the way that I lived and conducted my body.

I gained an understanding that it was the emotional state that I was in while playing the cello that had caused my Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) and that by playing with this emotion it had simply magnified this harmful energy throughout my body.

I began to become aware of the way that I used my arms, and I started to touch things in a gentle way instead of expressing any emotion I felt through my movement. Over time my arm has healed completely, and I no longer suffer pain or tension in the same way. Choosing gentleness, respecting what my body needs, and being willing to express and move without the intense emotion helped me to heal.

A few years ago (twenty years after leaving music college) I started attending the workshops of Chris James, a musician who brings people together to sing and play music with joy. Singing for me was a beautiful way of coming back to music without the pressures of my old experiences with the cello, and also a gorgeous confirmation that I still have the beauty of music inside of me and can use it as a way to express from my heart.

Little did I know at the time that these were the first true steps on my way back to playing the cello, the instrument that I know and love, and that I would end up playing the cello with joy, enjoying every note and movement, and banishing Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) from my life permanently.

In 2015 Chris James announced that he wanted to set up a band and that he wanted to include the cello; after some surprise and resistance on my part, I agreed. With crowd funding we bought a new low cost cello, and it entered my life once more.

When I first sat down to play the new cello I could feel that my body was totally different, and the way that I played did not resemble the way that I had played before. My body was not twisted around the cello or tense in any way, and my arm flowed in a way that felt so natural and free.

I could really feel how the healing that I had done had changed the state of my body and therefore the way I was moving and playing.

I then attended Chris James’ Healing Power of Sound Retreat and brought my cello along to play with the band. It was interesting to notice that playing in front of people brought up all my old patterns. I started to feel all my old emotion, and my body started to configure itself back to the way that I used to play.

The way the weekend unfolded was nothing short of amazing. Chris James holds these events with the intent of enabling the healing of any issues we hold that stop us expressing as our natural selves. As a result, as we sing or play from love – from our true inner essence, without the intense emotion, competition, rules or strict discipline – our old issues can come up to be exposed, felt and ultimately released.

When I sat down to play the cello with the band, in front of the rest of the group who were singing, all my old patterns were right there – the feeling of pressure, wanting to fulfil expectations, the need for perfection, the tension, the feeling of not being good enough and needing to prove myself, the belief that I had to entertain.

I felt miserable at not being able to sing, disconnected and isolated from the rest of the group, very rusty after years of not playing and all my resentment and frustrations came flooding back. There were lots of tears and a huge internal struggle. It felt like I was a very long way from playing with joy! However I persevered and just played, trusting that the environment Chris had created was holding me with love and that I simply needed to be willing to be there and go with the process.

The morning of the second day of the retreat I turned up feeling entirely different. The issues that I had identified and allowed myself to feel the day before had shifted and cleared overnight. I felt fresh, alive, clear and absolutely full of joy. I felt like the true me without all the stuff. I picked up the cello and started to play. My body felt free and easy again and there was a warmth and fullness in the sound that I was making that had not been there the day before.

My feeling towards the cello was one of love rather than resistance, I felt connected with the rest of the group and I found myself claiming the cello as I played it, allowing it to make the most beautiful sounds. No emotion, no stress, no anxiety, just pure fun and love and joy.

Playing with the rest of the band was absolute heaven and I felt fully supported by them and by Chris. I continued to play with joy for the rest of the weekend, and instead of dreading playing I found that I really wanted to play; instead of feeling shy and avoiding attention I was claiming the spotlight and actually enjoying it!

This was such an amazing shift over such a short period of time. It felt like magic, but in truth it simply showed us all the power of the healing environment that was set up by Chris with so much love. His willingness to accept where people are at, his keen attention to detail, his absolutely hilarious sense of humour, his ability to keep things light, and his depth of awareness and understanding all provide a space in which we can relax, surrender, let go and heal. The power of love and the power of music are phenomenal, and Chris James’ ‘Healing Power of Sound’ retreats are an absolute testament to that.

This journey is also an absolute testament to my own application and willingness to heal. I feel that I have shifted an enormous amount of stuff that was still sitting there preventing me from stepping into my full potential, both with the cello and within my life. Without this commitment and willingness the healing process could never have occurred. The old patterns from my music college days were still in my body and affecting me until I was willing to allow them out by accepting the support offered in a loving environment, leaving me with a huge appreciation for myself for making changes in the way that I live.

This experience and healing has stayed with me and has supported me to embrace playing the cello – the beautiful instrument that is loved by myself and so many – in a new way. It has also shown me that music does not have to be pressurised or serious – we can make music with a lightness, playfulness and joy that can inspire others to bring these qualities to their lives. The unity and joy we experienced together in the band is also shared and felt by others.

I feel and hold a deep gratitude and appreciation for all those and everything I have encountered along the way on this powerful reclaiming and healing journey that has allowed me to let go of my pain, leaving me free to express my true self through music.

Do We Care?



Being regular attendees of the monthly Women’s Groups in London we are often given a question to consider by the host, Sara Williams. One of the recent Women’s Groups was no different, but the question that was posed was one that made me and many other women stop in our tracks and go into deep consideration.

The question asked was ‘Do you care?’
In fact, there was a confronting suggestion that in fact ‘we don’t care’.

‘Care about what?’ you may ask, as indeed did most of us. ‘Anything’, was the blatant answer that was hanging in the air but was left as a suggestion.

We discussed this in small groups at the time, but the healing and exposure for me came when I took this question back into my life and started to observe myself in my own everyday living.

I very quickly noticed that I began to exaggerate my behaviours, almost to prove to myself that I didn’t care. I noticed that I started to eat more just for the sake of it, and let myself tuck into little snacks that I know are not supportive for my body. In this I could say that ‘I didn’t care’, and there was something within me that enjoyed not caring. It was as though I had been given permission to ‘not care’.

​I noticed that I didn’t care when I moved roughly, walked in a rush, shoved something in a cupboard, or walked past a colleague without connecting to them. I noticed that I didn’t care when I didn’t speak up for myself, spoke harshly, when I didn’t do my best at work, or when I didn’t take care to be present with myself or take care of the quality of my movements. The fact that I was noticing that I didn’t care made it even more obvious that I didn’t care, and therefore I decided that I really didn’t care, and just continued as I was…

​All this ‘not caring’ was quite a surprise, and in order to not feel how awful this was I continued to eat food that I didn’t need, again simply proving to myself that I didn’t care.

Over time, with all this not caring becoming completely exaggerated and magnified the effects of this started to take their toll, and I could feel the results of my unloving behaviour in my body. My belly was bloated, I had put on weight, my energy was low, my body was lethargic, and I was starting to feel depressed. What I realised was that this was simply a more obvious version of how I had been living before I was offered the suggestion and the opportunity to look at the fact that ‘I don’t care’.


As a result of this I have actually started to care. The horrendous state that I found my body in after a few weeks of exaggerated behaviour showed me exactly how much harm I was doing to myself. There is no way that I wanted to continue to feel as bad as I felt. I discovered that I did actually care about this. From here I have started to turn it all around. I know that I do not want the effects of the ‘not caring’ therefore I am making an extra special effort to actually care about every move, every choice, every interaction and anything I choose to eat. In each moment I am asking myself ‘do I actually care’? And the thought that I might not care is enough to make me care enough to take care of my choice in that moment.
I can now say that I care enough to tune into myself to check what it is my body needs. I may want food, but my body may not need food. Do I care? Perhaps not, but I do want to care – so the choice is not to eat. I may need to be somewhere on time, but my body does not like to rush or be stressed. Do I care? Perhaps not, but I do want to care – so I give myself extra time, and focus on staying in my natural rhythm, walking at my own pace and being connected to my body. I may feel like holding back from speaking to someone or expressing what needs to be said because I’m feeling shy or simply can’t be bothered. Do I care? Perhaps not, but I do want to care about people – so I can make the choice to open to the possible interaction, the beauty of connection, and the opportunity to speak truth and make a difference.

​I have realised that I can make a choice to care. It is not that I don’t care; it is that I have been choosing not to care. So I am now training myself to actively care.

Since choosing to actually focus on caring I feel so absolutely different in my body, in my relationships and in my life. I feel lighter, I have lost the bloating and the excess weight, I feel more joyful and vital, I enjoy my job, I enjoy being with myself and I enjoy being with others.

The most shocking and horrendous thing that I realised is, that if I do not care about such personal matters in my own life, how much care do I have for others, the state of the world, or for humanity? I’m sure we would all like to think that we care about global matters or serious issues like abuse or human rights, but when it comes down to it do our actions and choices reflect that we do actually care?

So by training myself to care it involves taking a good look at every aspect of life and my attitude to it, and choosing to take action in little ways that contribute to my own personal wellbeing and the wellbeing of humanity.

The little question posed by Sara Williams at the women’s group is actually a huge question that when considered carefully by everyone has the potential to change the world.

So…. A question to the reader… Do you truly care?

‘How are you?’…

Women's Group pic

It’s a question we ask each other every day… and a question that was posed by Sara Williams during one of the recent Esoteric Women’s Groups in London.

We were invited to ponder on how we usually answer that question, what we choose to say and how much of ourselves we choose to share. Working in pairs with people we didn’t know, we were given three opportunities to answer the same question…

The first time…

I found myself sharing what I felt to be true about how I was feeling; how my body felt, and also how I felt about being in the group talking to this person. It felt real and correct but I felt little connection with my partner and little joy whilst speaking. I also felt as if I was hiding something of myself and like I was trying to convince her of something.

We were then invited to feel just what kind of connection we had with the person we were speaking to. My partner informed me that while I was speaking to her I had not been looking directly at her and as a result it felt like I was searching for words from my head and it didn’t feel genuine.

The second time…

I made an effort to simply connect or truly engage with my partner whilst I was speaking, and looking directly into her eyes found I could communicate clearly what I was feeling in that moment, and the words were coming from my heart and my body. This felt to be an improvement on the first time but I still noticed my guardedness and a holding back of my true self. I realised that I had a fear of being judged.

The group then shared some of their experiences and this opened up to reveal just how everyone was feeling and exposed things that we all do and feel when speaking for the first time with someone. There was such a feeling of shared humanity in the room and a willingness to be truly honest and open which was very inspiring.

The third time…

We were then invited to do it once more, but this time allowing our true selves to be shared, seen and heard. I had a new partner, again someone I didn’t know, but immediately felt that I could share myself with her in an open way without fear of judgment or ridicule, and from the openness of the previous group sharing found I was able to drop the barriers and allow my true expression to stream forth; sharing from my heart how I felt and allowing my partner to ‘see all of me’ without the guardedness, pretense, or trying of the former meetings.

There was a complete joy in allowing myself to be fully me, no holes barred and I instantly felt close to my partner, as if she were already a dear friend, not because of who she was…but because of allowing my natural expression to just be.

All the walls came tumbling down and I felt I was simply meeting another fellow human being who was exactly the same as me! The feeling of relief was palpable in my body as it relaxed, opened and let go… like it was saying one big deep ‘PHEW’!

I could feel from this experience that this is actually possible with anyone and everyone I meet, and that there is a distinct choice to be made: I can either choose to be me in any situation regardless of who I’m talking to, how they are, or how I perceive them to be; or hold myself back in judgment without natural expression. The feeling that the choice to be naturally me creates in my body is a sense of openness and freedom, and where no longer the outer world dictates how I express, or hold myself back as if in some kind of prison.

I have found that since this Women’s Group my relationships with people have changed immensely. The sense of openness I’ve experienced in the group has stayed with me and have taken this into my relationships with friends, family and work colleagues. If I find myself becoming guarded again I simply remind myself that it’s not necessary, and is a choice I’m making. My natural voice speaks loud and clear and flows beautifully without the need for any kind of persona or niceness, or a need to convince anyone that ‘I am ok’. And I can allow the true me to be seen, felt and heard, and share myself in this way without hiding. This feels refreshing and is a beautiful way of connecting with people. I’m finding that many people respond in the same way and drop their guard when they realise there is no need for it. Truly gorgeous indeed!

What an amazing gift from the Esoteric Women’s Group and from a simple, everyday question asked by Sara Williams in a serious but playful way.

And so… I will leave you with the same question to ponder:

How are you? Are you expressing as your natural self?

 by Rebecca Turner, UK

Standing by Me and Inspiring My Colleagues at Work…

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I love my job. I work as a beauty advisor in a busy, well-respected health and beauty store in the centre of London. It is an incredible and great learning ground for me.

Every interaction shows me something, and can either energize me or drain me. 

This has been shown to me recently in a very clear way since attending one of the Esoteric Women’s Groups hosted by Sara Williams in London. The question was put to us “What is in the Way?”. The question in this context meant:

What is in the way of us being the beautiful amazing women that we naturally are?

I shared in my group that I often feel despondent and resentful that the store where I work has become very lenient towards customers regarding a certain policy, and that when I join in with this lenience I don’t feel good about myself, or the situation at all. As well as not feeling good about myself I am aware that this lenience does not serve the customers either, in that they are left to believe that they can do whatever they like without feeling and recognizing the consequences of their actions and choices.

The policy is there for a very good reason. I have tried in the past to enforce this policy, but this is only met with more force coming back at me, which results in a fight. I have also tried saying it apologetically, which doesn’t work either, as then I am already holding myself as less than them and handing them all the power. And I have tried doing nothing at all and blaming the company for being lenient and pretending to myself that there is nothing I can do.

After attending the Esoteric Women’s Group

I was feeling more of my inner beauty and amazingness, and felt particularly graceful at work the next day. I was able to meet customers with that grace, and when presented with moments where said policy was required I found myself meeting the customer as an equal, looking them straight in the eyes, and lovingly and gracefully stating the policy without any guilt, apology or defensiveness. The result was that the customers, although obviously upset, accepted what I was saying, and left the situation without a fight and without questioning.

After these interactions I could feel a gentle but strong sense of self and a warm flow of energy throughout my body and yes, I did feel very good about myself… though not pumped up in victory, just a sense that I had simply done the true thing. Very different to the drained and resentful feeling of previous encounters which left me feeling empty and with a sense of wanting to give up.

So how did this affect my working environment?

Well, later on in the day I observed one of my colleagues do exactly the same thing. She had watched me deal with a few customers earlier on, and mirrored my approach and experienced the same results.

From this I can feel that it is possible to boost staff morale and the energy of the working environment, simply by standing for what is true by feeling what is right for me and then acting on it – not in a forceful way, but in a gentle and loving way.

By standing by myself with this love I am able to feel more of my amazing beauty, and inspire others to do the same.

This is not about demonising or demoralising customers! This is about meeting people with truth, allowing them to feel the reality of this, and giving them an opportunity to take responsibility for themselves. If I play it small and let things slide then what is the knock-on effect for everyone around me?… Probably a world where everyone remains small and is nowhere near experiencing their own inner beauty.

The Esoteric Women’s Groups constantly inspire me to be more of who I am, thereby giving others an opportunity to be inspired by me. Isn’t this how we can change the world?!

Soul – The Missing Link

Pure Light

When I came across Universal Medicine I had been working as a massage therapist/body-worker for 13 years. I had done an extensive amount of training, always looking for more knowledge and more skills to bring to my work. When working with clients I was aware that we were only touching the surface of the problem. People would turn up with pain or muscle tension, I would administer the techniques I had learned, the tension would be relieved and they would leave… but only to return with exactly the same problem a few weeks later. This was good for business (!), but it was not my idea of helping someone long term, and it did not feel good to me.

I had an impulse to look deeper. I wanted to work with the person in front of me, not just the muscle and bone. I wanted to ask the question ‘WHY’? to all the conditions and pain that were presented to me. I was aware of other mechanical functional treatments I could train in, but they still didn’t answer the question ‘why’?, or offer real solutions on how to prevent these conditions in the first place.

Looking for the answers, I decided to do a 4-year training in body-psychotherapy and deep bodywork. This definitely took me deeper, and introduced me to emotional processing and cathartic release. I became aware of the amount of tension in my own body, and also of the unresolved emotional issues I was carrying around with me – and that these were affecting my body. For four years I went over and over those emotional processes thinking I was healing and releasing them, and doing what I thought was ‘getting to know myself’. I was being encouraged to ask clients to do the same. Although I had definitely gone deeper, it wasn’t feeling right, and I did not have a clear sense of what I was asking clients to do, or where we were going with it. It wasn’t clear to me how any healing could be taking place. I now understand that what I was actually doing was magnifying these issues and not healing myself or others at all, but doing the exact opposite. Ouch!

When I came across Universal Medicine and esoteric healing in 2007 it was a huge relief. All the pieces fell into place, and I could feel the truth of what was being presented. After the first few exercises on my first day I could feel that all the emotional stuff is actually on the periphery, and that this is not who we are at all. In the centre of us, at our very essence, is a big well of Love that is our Soul. The Soul has a warmth that when kindled can radiate throughout the body. This energy is healing. This was the missing link. Why focus on the tense muscles and the physical pain, or the emotional turmoil that is creating them, when you can go straight to Soul? What we focus on and give energy to simply magnifies. It is important to address the tension and emotion that is around, but the healing also lies in knowing the greater and true part of us.

With this re-discovered awareness I could feel that my approach to my work and my own life had been back-to-front. I had been treating the body from the outside in, and could now feel with a growing clarity that true healing comes from the inside out. How empowering is this! What this actually means is that each person has the innate ability to heal themselves, and need not be reliant on someone else to be responsible for their health. Obviously modern medicine, bodywork therapies and other modalities have an important role to play in supporting people to heal and indeed are likely to be more effective when supported by the awareness and livingness of daily life when in connection with the energy of the soul.

The answer to my searching question ‘why’? was very simple. When we allow life to take over we can become disconnected from our very essence, and this in turn creates stress, disharmony, tension, illness and so on. So the root of healing is found in the re-connection.

This beautiful simplicity is what Universal Medicine represents and consistently invites us to come back and return to. The esoteric practitioners who have trained with Universal Medicine are wonderful examples of people who are living this simplicity in their daily lives, and as such are able to inspire others to do the same if they so choose. They are living in connection to the Love within and continually confirming and building this Love with every choice and every move they make. From this there is a wisdom that grows from living in connection to their Soul.

The Universal Medicine practitioners have been a source of continual inspiration to me. The unwavering and loving support I have received has enabled me to make decisions in my own life based on the reality of how my own body is. Some of my choices have been surprising, including my choice last year to stop practising massage and bodywork. I know that this modality is very important, and I may come back to it in the future, but I realised I needed time to build my own loving foundation in my body before trying to treat other people.

An esoteric practitioner is not someone who simply turns up and gives a session with a whole load of skills. To practise esoterically requires an outstanding amount of integrity, and a responsibility and commitment to living true to oneself in every area of one’s life. Every movement, every word, every thought, every choice, every mouthful of food is either healing to the body or harming. The Love and responsibility needs to be to self first, before one can be there for others. It takes time to build up the energy of one’s loving choices in the body, and it takes patience and dedication to remain committed to oneself in that way. The esoteric way of life takes self-love and self-responsibility to a whole new level.

Over time I also realised that I had been under the weight of the identification and ideal I had of myself as a ‘practitioner’, and knew that I needed to let this title go. I could not have predicted how amazing this would feel, and how I now feel free to be ‘me’ without the pressures and expectations I had been putting on myself to be a ‘good’ practitioner. I am now free to build my own self-love, lovingly, in my own time.

I continue to attend the lectures and workshops presented by Universal Medicine, but now I am there as ‘me’, not as ‘a practitioner’. I am beginning to feel how being the true me is more important than trying to be something, and that I can bring the fullness of myself into whatever I choose to do.

I am now working in a busy shop in the centre of London, a regular job that is providing me with a regular rhythm through which I am learning to lovingly support my body. I serve hundreds of customers every day, and I love the opportunity of learning how to stay connected, gentle and true in everything I do, and in each interaction I have. When I am connected I love my job, simply because I am being me, and therefore able to be there fully with everyone else. There is a huge potential for healing here, for me and for those around me, and I am nowhere near a treatment room or a healing couch (!), but simply living and loving my daily life.

To Universal MedicineSerge Benhayon, and the whole amazing team – thank you for your unwavering commitment to Love, and for being living and inspiring examples of what is possible for us all.

Honesty – The Key to Unlocking Your Beauty


In my role as a retail Beauty Advisor I often witness the transformation that can occur within a skincare consultation when women open up to themselves and get honest. With a little encouragement I have seen women walk in off the street looking tired, emotional, closed down and grey, and leave looking relaxed, open and full of colour with a little sparkle in their eye.
Getting honest about the real reason behind the dark circles or the puffy eyes, the furrowed brow or the sullen cheeks, can lead to a sharing of stories and feelings that may have been unexpressed for a very long time. Women get to feel the effects of these very real stories and feelings, and that they are creating very real symptoms on their faces. While these hurts and emotions go ignored, pushed down, and are unfelt or unexpressed there is no chance for them to be released, and they become internalised, changing the appearance of the face, the texture of the skin, and manifesting in undesired symptoms. Underneath all this build up is actually the true vital beautiful person that is just waiting to come out given half a chance.
Simply by sitting with women, being open, spending time with them, taking an interest and posing questions that encourage a deeper awareness has an amazing effect. Opening up discussions about their lifestyle, diet, and encouraging the identification of feelings leading up to the initial appearance of skin concerns works like magic, and I have watched as layers of hardness and tension simply drop away revealing a radiant face with a smile that shines so brightly it fades any wrinkles and lines into insignificance.
It is a joy to watch women’s faces change in the short space of half an hour. 
Looking in the mirror after a skincare consultation, women sometimes cannot believe their eyes. The effect of the products are good yes, but if they have embraced the opportunity to open up and look a little deeper within themselves there is a newness and a freshness that is obvious, a clarity of the skin and an emerging of the true person. The little bit of time that they have taken for themselves to reflect, connect, and feel how they really are has helped them to go from feeling critical about their skin and their looks to appreciating the beauty that is actually within them and allow it to come out and be seen.

Being honest with ourselves about how we are feeling is one of the biggest beauty tips there is. It’s refreshing, it’s real, and it helps all the effects of the build-up of life in the face to drop away.
​It’s also completely FREE! 

7 SUPER Beauty Tips for SUPER Skin!


As a beauty advisor I talk to people about their skin every day. I talk to them about their concerns and their skin problems and how to best approach them and find solutions.
We all want our skin to radiate health and beauty, and we all want our skin to look and feel its absolute best. Because the skin is on the surface of our body we tend to think on this surface level, and often how we feel as a person is directly related to how our skin and our face ‘looks’. A few good products and a bit of make-up and we feel happier and ready for the world.
Great! But is there something that we are missing?
Could it be that by keeping our focus on the ‘surface’ we will only ever see the surface, and that any solution we have on this level will only ever be a ‘quick fix’ without taking care to look at what we are doing to create the concerns we don’t like?
When people come to me for skincare advice I also ask them how they are, how they feel, and what sort of a day/week they’ve had. I get to know and understand them as a person, and not just the condition or skin concern they’re presenting. I see that our skin is purely a mirror reflection of how we live life. The way that we care, respect, love and feel about ourselves ultimately has the biggest effect on its condition. The WAY and QUALITY we live life including our diet, exercise, lifestyle activities, emotional health and quality of our relationships, all have big parts to play.

So how can we help ourselves to radiate the natural health and vitality that we ultimately want and deserve for our skin?
1. Honour your body’s need to REST. Go to bed at 7pm if you need to. Yes, 7pm! Even on a Saturday night. In fact especially on a Saturday night! Sleep when your body is tired.
2. Ask your body what food it needs to feel truly NOURISHED and great, not dull, heavy or devitalised. You wouldn’t feed your favourite pot plant food that makes it wilt and struggle, so why feed or nurture your body in this way?
3. Connect to yourself and YOUR BODY on a daily basis. Stop and feel how your body feels – its aches, pains, tightness, soreness, lack of vitality or energy. Ask yourself what it is you truly need to support you beneficially in your day, at work and in your life. Then give that to yourself – space, time, something for you, time alone, different foods, even different company/friends (!) Your skin will thank you for it.
4. Be open to LOVE and don’t be afraid to love. By loving yourself you naturally love others and let them in. Which means greater love. Great! In fact awesome! When we are in love we glow. We can nurture that glow that shows in our faces and our skin texture purely by loving and nurturing ourselves.
5. NOTICE the quality of your physical movements and the quality of your thoughts. Are they hard, harsh, critical, anxious, judging through comparison, or loving, gentle, honouring, understanding and embracing? The expression of our true beauty and grace is seen in our faces.
6. CHOOSE to let go of the past. Just let it go. It does not belong in the present. Our face is a marker of life – holding either the old baggage, frustrations, disappointments and emotions, or the joy and release from choosing acceptance through understanding ourselves, and also others too.
7. Simply allow yourself to shine! Choose to be and live as the REAL NATURAL YOU. Don’t hold back what you have to share with the world and allow yourself to be seen, heard, felt, valued, appreciated, and completely celebrated in your amazingness, without the performance or drama – just simply be yourself. Choose to shine and your skin will shine with you – in joy-full vitality.

Meeting Men, with the True Beauty of a Woman


Yesterday, when I walked down the road to catch the bus, I was feeling full of my own inner beauty, the true beauty of myself as a woman: my heart was open and I felt joy when I came across other people on my way. Many of these interactions were with men…

  • a simple ‘good morning’ to the man walking his dog
  • a warm hello to the road sweeper who looked surprised but opened up like a flower in response to my smile
  • a wave hello to the man who runs a café who always leans out of his door to wave back at me and wish me a good day
  • a brief heartfelt conversation with a man who asked me directions
  • a smile and a ‘thank you’ to two men sitting on a doorstep whiling their time away, who told me I looked lovely today.

As I walked and shared these interactions my heart opened more and more and the spring in my step turned into a bounce. I feel joy as I write these words, and there is a part of me that is still surprised. It hasn’t always been like this!

Being a shy little girl I grew up hoping no-one would notice me. Any attention that came my way from strangers was not welcome and was usually met with defence. I used to shrink and want to hide, which made everything more difficult to deal with.

As a young teenager the attention I received from men was especially unwelcome. I was unprepared and ill-equipped to deal with such attention from the opposite sex. I remember the first time I was tooted at and yelled at by a couple of men in a white van, I was 11 and had just had my hair done by a guy who had given me a hairstyle that was much too mature for my years. This was the beginning of many years of catcalling, verbal abuse and unwanted attention on the street.

The way that I dealt with this for many years was to continue to be defensive and to shrink away from men and their comments. Of course this left room for more comments and fun poking, which hurt me and made me more defensive. I felt like a victim and allowed myself to adopt that position and attitude. I wore this attitude like an accepted role, which could be seen and felt by everyone… and so came more of the same. I kept myself small.

Over the years as I have grown into a mature woman, I have continued to experience the same type of behaviour from men. I have grown to accept that I can’t control how other people choose to behave, but I have learnt that I can choose how I respond – and this makes all the difference. With a growing sense of self, and acceptance of my own inner beauty, I have come to a place where I no longer want to hide and withdraw from the world. I want to shine! And when I shine I am seen!

I am a beautiful woman. Of course men will look. And what am I going to greet them with? A closed and defensive nature which invites attack, or an open heart that meets them as equal human beings who have the same beauty on the inside? I have now experienced on many occasions the transformation that can occur when I meet men with an openness from my heart. An otherwise threatening situation can simply dissolve, and I watch them disarm in front of my eyes. Men are truly beautiful when given the chance.

By taking responsibility for myself and my own behaviour I can refuse to adopt the position of being small and being seen as an object. I know I am more than this, and I can liberate myself by respecting and loving myself and treating everyone from that respectful loving place.

These days, instead of the abusive hurtful comments I used to receive as a young adult, most of my interactions with men are void of abusive energy and instead are a confirmation of my loveliness and my respect for myself. I now receive their comments, like the ones I received yesterday, gracefully and with appreciation of myself. What a welcome difference!

How amazing it is to experience and appreciate the true beauty within men by fully embracing and sharing the beauty of myself as a woman – my own true inner-beauty.